Emotional roller coasters and bonding

Yesterday I was chatting with a dear friend of mine who is expecting her first baby. Both of us have been on a long journey to motherhood. I think it’s pretty cool we are both arriving there at almost the same time. We were discussing what an emotional roller coaster this all has been.

I look back on those five years and actually compared to what I’m feeling today those five years are really that first part of the roller coaster. When you take off and it slowly grinds its way up and you are full of anticipation. Today I feel I’m at that moment where your insides are twisted, your knuckles are white and there is a huge grin on your face because you are scared and excited and have no idea what’s coming. Today I’m at that point where my little cart is about to plunge down. The ride is only beginning... I’ve had more time to prepare than most but still can you ever be prepared? Can you ever read enough blogs, books, articles... I don’t think so because we don’t know how our son will react. I have played just about every scenario in my head but I can’t say which one of them is going to be it.

The biggest issue everyone always links to adoption is bonding. Everyone is so worried about this and it is true that it is a big question mark. Everything depends on what the child has been through in the beginning. We are very lucky our son is in a good orphanage. They truly love their children and he is receiving excellent care at the moment but we don’t know what happened after he was born. It will take time to forge that bond and I hope everyone will be patient with me as a parent to decide when the time is right to let the world loose on my son. There are so many people waiting to meet him but please bear with me.

I have read some amazing blog entries on this issue and I really want to share them because they sum it all up!

http://www.addingaburden.com/2012/08/attachment-and-adoptive-parent-needs.html

http://www.thekitchenisnotmyoffice.com/2012/12/supporting-and-understanding-adoptive.html

It is so true that our son did not ask for us as his parents, this decision was made entirely for him. We are now two weeks away from bringing him home. Thank you all for reading and informing yourself on adoption and taking this journey with us. I am very grateful for your support and will continue to need it for a very long time ...
On the practical side, our trip is fully prepared, tickets booked, hotels reserved, vaccinations done, appointments with consulates... :) Our deed was registered on Wednesday so they will be applying for the passport soon!

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