Day 5

This morning started with monster time. He was really misbehaving on the way to breakfast. We gave him time to improve but he didn’t so we decided that he should know his behaviour has consequences so we picked him up and went back to the room... no breakfast just yet. We told him we love him very  much but that he needs to finish his monster time before we can go to breakfast. We gave him space, I expected screaming, kicking and throwing things but none of that happened.

He slowly inched his way to us, I made sure I smiled at him every time we made eye contact to show that I was not angry. The silent war ended with a group hug and we tried breakfast again with success.

Swimming was great as was lunch after which he said: Daddy I am soooooo tired, so we all had a nap.

After that we went to the mall. We now explain things to him before we go out, today we discussed the holding hand on the street. He did well, he didn’t let go one single time J A few interesting things happened at the mall today. He took my hand voluntarily a few times. I know to many parents this seems insignificant but to me it is a big thing since I know he doesn’t like holding hands. He likes to touch everything and he wants everything, believe me he has to put back everything he wants. Today we went shopping for “kicker shoes” (football) and he didn’t notice that I went to the till with the pair he tried on. He just lagged behind and pointed at every shoe saying I want this one, I kept saying that mommy already has the shoes but he didn’t give up. One of the staff decided to intervene and was going to pick him up. Well that was not taking into account our boy, he got so angry, screamed and ran straight to daddy and mommy. This to me was a good sign that he did not want to be picked up by a stranger. He does from time to time try to hug a stranger but not frequently. In the play area of the mall he only went on the circuit once and said he wanted to go back to mommy and daddy and play next to them.

We finished the day skyping with the grandmothers and one auntie. It was very nice and he’s so excited about all of them. I hope we can skype soon with my other sister too cause he keeps looking at her family picture and I really want them to see each other.

So J has been with us now for five days and here is what happened in five days:

On day 1 J wiped his hands and mouth on his clothes on day 5 he uses his napkin almost all the time

On day 1 J preferred to eat with his hands on day 5 he uses a fork and knife almost all the time and he now remembers how to hold the knife for cutting and corrects himself every time.

On day 1 J did not really ask for things, he preferred to give commands such as water now, or I want this on day 5 he gave me his water sign (they have some sign language for water and toilet) I looked at him with my “where is the magic word please look” and he said Mommy may I have some water please! Considering his speech delay I was astonished and very proud J He now says please and thank you 90% of the time

On day 1 J ran from the table to swimming water all the time refusing to come back on day 5 J stays at the table and only points outside saying: There is the swimming water but first we eat and then we swim J

On day 1 J would play in the sink endlessly wasting water and time on day 5 he brushes his teeth and does not mess about with the water anymore

On day 1 his speech was mainly 1 word sentences he now speaks much better already using full sentences and remembers every new word we teach him.

Tonight when we got back to the hotel my husband jokingly said to him: Do you know how hard we worked to get you. Mommy said: those 5 years are now a distant memory. It’s true all those years of pain, frustration and uncertainty are instantly forgotten when your son takes your hand or tells you he loves you or just comes to sit close to you out of his own choice. So anyone who is going through the process hang in there,  I would do those five years all over again for my boy.