day 9


Today was a relaxed day. I spent a lot of time with J colouring and playing football. He was a happy boy today and also a good boy. Perhaps my discipline from last night did have some effect.

Today has been over a week that he is with us. I feel like I crossed a river to a new life and I do from time to time longingly look back to the other side. Since last Monday I have not picked up a book, listened to music, watched a movie, just enjoyed a cup of coffee or chatted with a friend. It has all been about J. I hope with time my old life and new life will blend into one and I will get the best of both, yes I can be greedy J

So how does it feel to become a mom to a child you never met, a child that already has quite the personality, a child that was not born to you. My view on adoption has always been, you adopt to give a child a family not to give a family a child. The last attitude would lead to huge disappointment. My greatest fear was that J might not like us or vice versa, what if it won’t click.

When he stormed into my arms last Monday I was completely taken by surprise, how could this little guy be so happy to see me, but he was. And he still is today even if I’ve been away for five minutes his face lights up when I come back. Do I love him as much as I would a natural child? I have no comparison but I do know that I love him and I would do anything for him even if from time to time he drives me up the wall.

Being a parent is hard, being a parent to an adopted child perhaps a tiny bit more challenging but in both circumstances you give it your all and your child will love you back. Perhaps it will take a long time and if you are lucky like us he will sit by the swimming pool on day 4 and say I love you swimming water and I love you daddy and I love you mommy. Now considering he’s crazy about the swimming water I have a feeling he is happy with us. Our son has a strong personality and an incredibly big heart. He’s certainly won over my heart, I hope he will be as happy at home as he is here. At night we often go and watch him, when he sleeps he’s even more beautiful and so peaceful.

I admire his zest and his courage to put his life into the hands of two strangers. Our son, what a joy he is!
 

Comments

  1. mcFebruary 26, 2013 at 7:31 PM

    Heidi, thank you for sharing! This is beautiful. I love the photo of you and your son together! Congratulations.

    ReplyDelete

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