Our adoption journey...

Don’t worry everyone, I’m not going to blog every day J this is just during our trip, once we are home my blogging will be less frequent! This morning I had breakfast with my boy whilst daddy was at the gym. We are both trying to keep up with our work outs. First of all, I need to be fit to keep up with life as a mom and secondly it gives us both some me-time which is equally important. Following breakfast we now introduce some “school time” to keep up with counting and writing and to provide some structure to the day. He doesn’t always feel like it but I give him a little break when he gets bored and go and do something else. He calls me when he is ready to continue. We went back to the park today with our friends, this time we went to the play area of the park. When you come in there is first a train ride, boy he loved that! He was so excited he hardly knew what to do with himself J the rest of the day every time the train passed he waved at everyone on it. After tha...

Today was a relaxed day. I spent a lot of time with J colouring and playing football. He was a happy boy today and also a good boy. Perhaps my discipline from last night did have some effect. Today has been over a week that he is with us. I feel like I crossed a river to a new life and I do from time to time longingly look back to the other side. Since last Monday I have not picked up a book, listened to music, watched a movie, just enjoyed a cup of coffee or chatted with a friend. It has all been about J. I hope with time my old life and new life will blend into one and I will get the best of both, yes I can be greedy J So how does it feel to become a mom to a child you never met, a child that already has quite the personality, a child that was not born to you. My view on adoption has always been, you adopt to give a child a family not to give a family a child. The last attitude would lead to huge disappointment. My greatest fear was that J might not like us or vice versa, w...

Yesterday we moved to a new hotel much better suited to our needs. J was ok with the change, he was quite excited to see the new room and the new swimming pool although we have not yet been swimming. There is a little park around the corner where I took him to play football yesterday, we didn’t go out we just had a quiet day together. No crisis just defiance and basic naughtiness.   We also managed to skype with my other sister which I was very happy about. Today we had to go back to the orphanage as he had to do his fingerprint for the passport. He was excited we were going to see his friends. He went to the police station with a member of staff of the orphanage, he was a little confused as mommy and daddy were not coming and when he came back I got a big hug. In the afternoon we went to Cubbon Park with our friends and their daughter. We had a nice time, it’s a beautiful park with the biggest bamboo I’ve ever seen after that a quick stop at the mall and back to the hote...

Today was our first monsterless day J We had the same routine as yesterday: breakfast, swimming, nap, mall and bed. Apart from some defiance everything went great so I’m not going to describe every part of our day in detail, I will limit it to the story of the ball pit. J really liked the soft play area at the mall and he was a bit upset he had to go home yesterday so we thought it would be a good idea to go again today so he understands that finishing fun doesn’t mean that it doesn’t come back. Before we went in I asked him not to shout and not to throw balls at the other children like yesterday and here’s what happened: He went straight to the ball pit to swim in the balls. There was one other girl in there as soon as he entered she started throwing balls in the air. He took two balls in his hand and suddenly turned to me, smiled and put them back down. I was so proud of him I could cry (well my eyes welled up). He played all the time near us, he doesn’t want to lose si...

This morning started with monster time. He was really misbehaving on the way to breakfast. We gave him time to improve but he didn’t so we decided that he should know his behaviour has consequences so we picked him up and went back to the room... no breakfast just yet. We told him we love him very   much but that he needs to finish his monster time before we can go to breakfast. We gave him space, I expected screaming, kicking and throwing things but none of that happened. He slowly inched his way to us, I made sure I smiled at him every time we made eye contact to show that I was not angry. The silent war ended with a group hug and we tried breakfast again with success. Swimming was great as was lunch after which he said: Daddy I am soooooo tired, so we all had a nap. After that we went to the mall. We now explain things to him before we go out, today we discussed the holding hand on the street. He did well, he didn’t let go one single time J A few interesting things...

We got up early this morning 7:30 and woke up J. As usually he comes for a cuddle in our bed, he loves it, he loves playing hide and seek with mommy under the duvet. We got dressed for breakfast and he was veering towards a mood but daddy managed to diffuse it by involving him in counting and preparing daddy’s supplements. Mission accomplished! We spoke to him that he needs to sit at the table during breakfast and not run to the swimming pool and he promised he would and he kept his promise. We arranged to go to the zoo today with our friends and whilst waiting for the taxi I showed him the videos I made at home from our dog and cat. He was super excited, kept kissing my computer screen, waving at the dog and petting them on the screen. So I’m not worried he will not like the animals J The zoo was great, we had a good time. We did the safari first and he was so happy to see all the animals. We got great pics as we were seated directly behind the driver and his assistant, they...

Today we were moving room so we decided to pack before breakfast. J of course thought we were going in the airplane but we explained that later today we will have a new room. During breakfast everything was fine, it doesn’t help that the swimming   pool is right outside the breakfast room and he loves the swimming pool so already he started saying I want to go to the swimming water as he calls it. We told him we will go later, he did run off a few times to go and look through the window but all in all it was fine. Today we had an appointment at the orphanage with the doctor, we need a medical certificate for his visa file and we wanted to meet his doctor. On the way to the orphanage we asked him if he wanted to go to school, first he was excited but when we got there he did not want to go in. I think he thought we were bringing him back. It broke my heart and in the midst of it all I walked into a low hanging roof with my head. Man did it hurt!! Luckily I got kisses from ...

Where to start, our day yesterday did not set off well. We ordered a taxi that didn’t come and we ended up being late to the orphanage! After 5.5 years it felt like every minute was too much, it was not a good way to start the day as I was already stressed before we arrived. When we finally set off it took only 30 minutes although the taxi driver said it would take one hour! When we arrived we first went to the office to meet the staff of the orphanage, it felt surreal to be there, I tried to focus and listen to the conversation but I was just waiting for him to come up. He was like a little bullet that entered the room, he flew into my arms shouting mommy mommy, he was soooooooo excited! I was worried I was gonna cry but I was so pleasantly surprised I was just happy and didn’t cry J He soon got obsessed with my camera and went around taking pictures of everything and everyone which was great as I was planning on doing that anyway J He then showed us around the orphanage, ...

We started our “Indian experience” already in the air J We flew Air India to Delhi and from there on to Bangalore. The flights were excellent, service was great and food was tasty and Indian of course J and believe it or not but I managed to sleep! It was only 7.5 hours to Delhi from London (not 9.5 as we’d been told) and another 2.5 hours to Bangalore. We arrived at the airport where we were picked up by what we thought was our taxi which we had booked on line but turned out to be a driver sent from the hotel so there may still be someone at the airport trying to find us. It was all very confusing once we discovered that we didn’t actually take the taxi we booked. The drive was amazing, there is not 1 minute that goes by without a car honking and I am astonished at how many people they can fit on a scooter J There are no traffic rules, everyone just drives wherever they want. The area around the airport is very manicured but once you leave the perimeter of the airport you find...

Yesterday I received the article 23, this is a very important document as without it we would not be able to leave India, apply for his visa, have the adoption recognised at home, apply for his new passport when we come back etc... This document is issued by CARA and confirms that all the rules under the The Hague Convention have been followed during the adoption. I was a bit worried. Although CARA were always very friendly in the past, they weren't always very efficient. But low and behold... the article 23 has already been issued :) I've been spending the last two weeks visiting family and friends. It has certainly helped in making time fly by! Everybody is incredibly excited about J's arrival. Everybody wants to know how I'm feeling... well.... it's hard to describe. I feel remarkably calm at the moment although from time to time I have moments of realisation that finally it's happening and then I get all excited but in a good way. I might feel different ...

Yesterday I was chatting with a dear friend of mine who is expecting her first baby. Both of us have been on a long journey to motherhood. I think it’s pretty cool we are both arriving there at almost the same time. We were discussing what an emotional roller coaster this all has been. I look back on those five years and actually compared to what I’m feeling today those five years are really that first part of the roller coaster. When you take off and it slowly grinds its way up and you are full of anticipation. Today I feel I’m at that moment where your insides are twisted, your knuckles are white and there is a huge grin on your face because you are scared and excited and have no idea what’s coming. Today I’m at that point where my little cart is about to plunge down. The ride is only beginning... I’ve had more time to prepare than most but still can you ever be prepared? Can you ever read enough blogs, books, articles... I don’t think so because we don’t know how our son will rea...