Our adoption journey...

When I wrote my last post I said hopefully the postal services wont let us down... well they have... One parcel went astray... of course a new one is already on its way but yet again a week lost. In future I will not think about what could possibly go wrong :( but I shall remain positive and every day past is a day less to wait regardless of how long the wait is. In the mean time I am thoroughly enjoying the US and making a mental note of the things that I think Raju will like so we can do them again in the future :) Well fingers crossed our last document reaches India in the next few days :) I will tune in again when I have more news...

5 days since my last post... by now 3 envelopes are on their way to India... 3 envelopes from 3 different countries... but yes I managed to get all the paperwork together. Hopefully the postal services will not let us down and they should be able to file in the next two weeks. We then need to wait to hear when will be the court dates, there will be several court dates but we do not have to be present. Luckily a representative from the orphanage will take care of this. I am all packed for our next travel with the usual packing dilemma of what to take, what not to take... I was wondering what my suitcase to India would look like...   I already have a ton of advice from fellow adoptive parents, travel websites etc... but I definitely will be travelling light although hubby says he wants to take food with him. This is quite interesting considering our favourite cuisine is Indian but he is very worried about getting sick over there. We normally are very adventurous when travelling ...

We had some bad news yesterday, where I thought our file had already long been filed in the court it appears now this is not the case. There seem to be more documents missing, I was so disappointed that another month has passed without anything happening and as per usual some of the documents are already in our file. I am waiting for clarification on what exactly is needed. At the same time the warden of the orphanage has passed away. We did not get a chance to meet this woman but judging from the reactions on facebook etc.. this was a wonderful person and I am sure the children and staff are going through a difficult time. I can't help but wonder what effect this lady had on Raju's life and if he is in any way going through a hard time. I feel so helpless not to be able to do anything. I hope we can clarify the missing documents before our trip to the US, I hate to think we would loose another month on administrative nonsense. I know it is not nonsense and it is important but ...

Now is as good a time as ever to say thank you to some special people. To my mother for never asking the question why, but for accepting our choice and supporting and, in some instances, defending it ever since. To my sisters for their support especially in difficult times. To my nieces and nephews for their enthusiasm, their smart questions :) and their patience! To Cindy, who was there from the first step, literally standing next to us at the postbox when we posted that first letter. To all my friends (they know who they are:)) for patiently listening to me venting my frustrations and for always telling me it will be ok! To my stepchildren for being who they are. My biggest thank you goes to VCT in Bangalore and Raju's foster family for looking after my son during all this time. Knowing that Raju is in good hands, receiving care and affection makes this wait a little less hard. Eventhough this has been a long journey, I have met some amazing people on the way. Thank you...

Once you accept a referral you have to wait for the No Objection Certificate, this is granted by CARA in India. Things didn't go as smooth as we wanted. Once we signed the referral it transpired our home study was about to expire as they are only valid for two years. So again we had to update the file before it could be transmitted to CARA to apply for the NOC. Updating the home study involved interviews with the social worker, pshychologist, police and doctor. This time we made sure our home study reflected Raju's age, we didn't want the NOC to be refused because it didn't correspond with the home study. Finally in January 2012 the file was complete and transmitted to CARA. What followed was a stressful time. There was a series of demands for extra documents and questions from CARA to the orphanage. The orphanage was as frustrated as we were but they were very helpful. I contacted CARA several times and was told all the time that it would be issued next week, but w...

Once we knew our file had been transmitted to a RIPA (orphanage) began an exciting wait... Because there are no agencies in Monaco and our coordinator does not master English that well, we were given permission to be in direct contact with the RIPA, this is unusual and we are very thankful that the RIPA was ok with this. On the 5th of July 2011 like all other days for the last 5 years the first thing I did when waking up was to check my email. And there it was.... an email from the orphanage. This of course was not unusual but when I opened it I realised it was the referral. The inital email only contained the medical history and social report. Half an hour later I received pictures .... sometimes the world really does stop. We were smitten but we wanted to make an informed decision. We collected as much medical history as possible and asked for advice from several pediatricians. On the 6th of September we were finally able to sign the official documents! Many people did not quit...

The home study was very well carried out. Everyone on the team was extremely positive and supportive and it was a pleasant experience. Eventhough I had heard many stories about home studies ours was very fair and it was not as stressful as I had anticipated. Still the relief when we finally had the agreement was big and it was a very happy moment. Our journey could now really begin... Adoption involves a lot of paperwork (perhaps an understatement) but there are many protocols and steps to follow. Especially since we are adopting under the The Hague convention it is very important to follow the advice of the central authorities involved. We waited for several  months (8 to be exact) during which we had no news at all, not even a confirmation that the file was received. After 8 months we discovered that it had in fact not been received at all. The disappointment was so big (plenty of tearful calls to friends and family who all helped us through this). A new file had to be create...