Our adoption journey...

Dear Julzie, Today when I tucked you into bed you said something very profound to me. Something you have not said in words before. You told me you loved me (which I have heard a gazillion times) but you also looked me in the eyes and said and I trust you mommy. I thought I was patient when we were waiting for you but you gave patience a whole new dimension. I thought I loved you before I met you; little did I know how you would take that love and bring it to infinity. I was happy before I met you, now I am complete. You have transformed our life in so many different ways; I can’t remember what it was like before. You have awakened in me a deep feeling of compassion and admiration. I admire you little man, how you have embraced your life with such stride and determination. I hope you will forgive me the times I lack patience to understand your troubles; I hope you will come to understand that all I do, I do to nurture you and your heart. We have come a long...

Almost a year ago I was standing on the pavement of our hotel in Bangalore overcome with stress and emotions and to this day I still don’t know how I held it together. A year later I remember exactly the smells and colors of that day, the feeling I had in the taxi on the way, I remember turning into the road of VCT and I remember looking up at the building, I remember seeing the first kids in the corridor, I remember who greeted me and guided me upstairs to the office, I remember in which chair I sat and I remember vividly J appearing in the doorway and leaping into my lap shouting the words mommy. That day is ingrained in my brain and I have a feeling will never fade. My eyes still tear up when I think back to that day, the day everything changed, the day that marked the start of something beautiful but at times so very hard. I have no illusions that all moms go through the hard parts but adoption is still another journey, it’s raw and painful at times and...

2013 was by far the most exciting year in my life, all the years that led up to it just pale next to 2013. It was everything I hoped for and more.   It also went by incredibly fast with highs and lows and above all lots of love and happiness. Here’s a recap of our highlights: 7 January 2013 court approval! 18 February GOTCHA day and the start to an incredible journey of motherhood it also marked the beginning of a friendship with a special family in India to whom I will always be grateful for taking us under their wings. 6 th of June we celebrated his birthday for the first time as a family. 26 th of June I celebrated my first birthday as a mom. July he went to summer school for the first time. The hardest thing ever as he thought we were giving him back. We’re so over that and he’s now happy to go to school and happy to come home every day. In September he started school. In November we moved to the states for a few months so big change but all is ...

“Amma means mother in many languages. It is originally derived from the language Tamil word அம்மா which means mother” When my son puts his hand on my cheek, looks me straight in the eyes and whispers... my amma forever and ever, I feel so full of love and nothing scares me anymore about motherhood. So here’s where we are six months later... In the last two weeks J calls me his amma but only in the evening when we cuddle before going to sleep, the rest of day he calls me mommy. Yet when he calls me his amma there is something different about it, for some reason it feels more significant. It’s the only word he uses from his native language. Six months ago we picked up a happy but also sometimes complicated little boy fast forward six months and J is pretty much like any other boy; charming, naughty and full of energy. Ready to start school next week, goes on play dates, loves dancing and swimming and watching Barney. J speaks already in three languages of course French a...

Welcome to our life. This is us, we travel a lot, we believe in challenge to expand the mind and we try to apply this to our family all the time. That is not to say I was not worried because on the one hand I want to show Julian life and the world on the other hand I want him to have stability. So week 1, school in France. Not only was this the first time he was going to an organized school, it was the first time away from home for the day and boy did it show. He was worried, in his mind school was orphanage and I think he was convinced this is where he was going, back to school waiting for a new mommy and daddy.   I was so stressed the whole day, worried if he’s doing ok and if he’s managing to understand the language ..oh yes did I mention this was in French J When I went to pick him up, he seemed surprised but so happy. On the way home he pointed at me and said: This is still my mommy!!! It was hard not to burst out crying. The rest of the week went great. He went horse...

My sweet Julzie You have been with us almost four months now and what a four months they have been. You showed us your country and we took you to ours. You showed us your family and friends and we replaced them with new ones.   You spoke other languages and we took away some and added others... And you take it all in stride. This month we celebrated your first birthday at home, I don’t know who was more excited you or me. It was such a big milestone. You so proud to be a big five year old boy, me so proud you are my big boy. I remember thinking in the first few weeks, Can I do this? How do I love you unconditionally... now I know. Julzie there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you; you have my heart and more. And yet I feel it is not enough. When you cry silently but can’t tell me why, it aches so much not to be able to take away your sadness. You miss your “foster brother” and all the skype calls in the world can’t make up for it.   You are so consumed ...

“ He is an active child. Though he cannot communicate anything verbally, he follows commands and makes himself understood, but with continuous speech therapy, there is slight improvement. “   The above is an extract from our son’s report before we accepted his referral. We dwelled on it for some time as we were not sure if we would be able to handle it but after talking to the speech therapist in India who said there was a slight improvement we decided to accept him as our son. Why am I writing this post… two and a half months after picking him up he is a nonstop chatter box! It is true that in the first weeks he communicated with one word sentences but today oh my! Julian does not stop talking, he forms complete sentences uses past, present and future tenses and is so keen and eager to learn and repeat new words. Yes his pronunciation is sometimes a little off but my ears are already trained and I understand everything he says. I received some very nice advice from a good ...