Bonding, medicals and meeting new family...


We’ve been home now for two weeks trying to find our rhythm. Julian continues to make excellent progress, he can do a 30 piece puzzle by himself, we memorised our first poem. The most amazing thing is his face when he has done something he couldn’t do before, he is sooooo happy and proud and jumps into my arms. I make sure I give him a lot of encouragement and I do spend a lot of time with him. I am still struggling with the discipline and him trying to kiss and hug his way out of trouble.  But I still believe he needs structure and he needs to learn to adjust his social behaviour which brings me back to the hitting and kicking. It has reduced a lot over the last six weeks but sometimes he does it for no reason, it’s almost as if he’s trying to see if the person he’s trying to upset will still love him after. Any advice from other parents is more than welcome on this issue.

We also started with our medical visits, we went to a paediatric department for adopted children and today we also went to our local paediatrician. Both doctors were very impressed by him, although he was naughty, they were amazed at how attached he was to us and how comfortable he was with us. We don’t have the results yet of the blood tests etc... but both doctors did not see any immediate problems and also advised us to wait a little bit longer with any speech or other therapy as he seems to be catching on very quickly and possibly things will settle down just by him being home.

This week he has met two of our friends, my mom and my sister and her family. He was extremely excited about the visits and not timid with anyone. I’ve decided not to interfere if he wants to hug someone as it is quite clear he knows who his mommy is and every time he went out and came back I was the first person he hugged. It is simply not possible to tell people they can’t hug him and I am following my instinct. I make sure I am the one who tends to him when he’s hurt himself, give him food and wake him up and put him to bed. The visit ended with a little bit of drama.... see kicking and hitting but all in all it went really well. Everyone likes him a lot and is very impressed by how he has adjusted to his new home.

He has also talked about his foster mom this week and told the doctor he has two mommies... I still need to address the issue with him of the third mommy. I am raising the adoption with him through bedtime stories (Choco, the teasels...) and I think he is now starting to relate them to his own situation. He has other books but usually picks the one about Choco and today instead of reading it to him, I asked him to tell me the story and he did a great job! All in all, our boy is doing so well and although this mommy is exhausted and sick (out of the three of us the only one suffering from the cold is me!) I am also extremely proud and happy with my son.

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