Our adoption journey...

To the other moms, Your child may be in my child’s class, playgroup or sports group. I am sorry my child doesn’t always fit the norm; he didn’t have a family for many years before coming to us. He had a life without rules and lacked social skills. My child is trying very hard to fit into this world, but he doesn’t always tick all the boxes. He gets excited about things that seem so common to others. He doesn’t always know how to behave to fit in and sometimes resorts to excessive silly behaviour to mask everything else. My child has great anxiety issues because he doesn’t always know what is expected of him. My child may need some more attention than yours. He may not be as clever as your child. Your child may think it’s strange that he doesn’t know the rules of football at age 7 or he has never heard of spongebob squarepants but that’s just because he really doesn’t know. I wish you would tell your child its ok for others to be different, not everyone had the sam

Had I known then, it was going to take 5.5 years to bring you  home... Had I known then, that after two years together you still wouldn’t be sure it’s forever... Had I known then, you could throw tantrums that break my heart... Had I known then, you would chatter nonstop trying to fill up every silence... Had I known then, how hard it was going to be for you at school... Had I known then, how difficult it was going to be to integrate socially.... Had I know then... I would have done it all over again. Because I know now, that your smile every morning fills my heart with love. Because I know now, that you have the best intentions. Because I know now, how courageous you are. Because I know now, how much you wanted a family. Because I know now, I couldn’t have wished for a better son. Because I know now, love.

Two years ago to this day, I sat in my dear friend Lisa’s kitchen sipping coffee. I was desperate for news from India by that time we’d been waiting a long time for the court decision. I saw there was an email from In*ia but I was hesitant to open it. Only if you’ve been through an adoption would you understand the hesitation, the desperation for news and the fear of bad news. The fear that maybe it wasn’t approved, the excitement that maybe this was the mail. It turned out to be THE mail, the one that said we were now the parents of J. I was so happy to be with auntie Lisa to share this extremely important moment. From now on, when people asked if I had kids, I could say YES! I have a son. A son, who at that point, I’d never kissed goodnight. A son whose hand I’d never held. A son to whom I’d never read a bed time story. In my mind I had of course fantasised about my son, at that point I already knew about him for some time. In my mind he was sometimes a happy boy and at oth