Our adoption journey...

Friday 3am we set out for the long journey home. I needn’t have worried about having to wake up J in the middle of the night, as soon as I said time to go home to Lily, he was wide awake! 6am we had a flight to Delhi, no problems... five hour layover... a bit long with a small boy ... 8.5 hour flight to London...slept for 7 hours...one night in London...Eurostar to France... car home. Suitcases unfortunately have gone missing for now... I sure hope they will turn up as they are filled with memories of our trip. Luckily I packed his photo book and adoption papers in the hand luggage. Never in my life have I experienced feeling so much joy at seeing someone else’s happiness. He was just over the moon with his house, his room, his dog, his cat.... My worries about him being afraid of Lily had been unnecessary. Although he is a little bit afraid (she is bigger than him and weighs three times more) he does like her very much and pets her as long as we are there with him. Well I’m hap

Friday we are travelling home. I am astonished at how fast the time has gone. We’ve been in India now for just over four weeks, we had our one month family anniversary on Monday. I often have to pinch myself that it finally happened, that I am a mom to this amazing little boy. The visa process went very fast and they were extremely helpful at the Embassy. We have a long journey home, two flights and a train ride but Saturday we will be home. J is asking every day if we are going on the airplane today because he wants to give Lily (the dog) and Koshka (the cat) a biiiiiiiiig hug, we’ll see what happens when we are home. Lily is bigger than he is so I have a feeling he’s gonna be a little bit intimidated. I am nervous about going home, I am worried as well. I am sure that to this day he’s still not fully aware of his future. We are still surrounded by people that look just like him, the weather is great, our days are filled with fun, shopping, playing, swimming and hot chocolat

On Thursday we were notified the passport arrived at the orphanage. Boy I was so happy, we picked it up and I tried to get an appointment with the embassy but they could only see us on Friday morning. Thursday we had another swimming lesson which went quite well, he lasted almost the entire lesson before he started crying he was so cold. He also seemed to be more focussed on the teacher and didn’t try to just put his head under the water or argue with the teacher. Friday morning we went to the embassy, all went well and they were hopeful the visa will be ready on Monday. All the documents were in order as was the passport. I had read many times that the passports only contain the first name of the child but in our case the full name is there, two first names and family name and on the back page of the passport we are listed as his parents. He was so proud of his passport, kept showing it to Momo the bear (who also has a passport) and then of course he was in a panic he had to

So we are still in Bangalore still waiting for the passport and we decided to make the most of it whilst we are here. We found a swimming club right around the corner of our apartment where every day they have swimming lessons for children. We thought lets give it a go... yesterday was the first lesson. The lessons are one hour. J was in a small group of 3 students (one of which is his new friend R) and things started well. I have to admit I was nervous, J still needs to learn a lot about acceptable behaviour with other people (shouting, hitting and biting is not allowed) but things went fairly ok, after half an hour he had enough though and started crying so I nodded at the teacher that it was ok to let him go. He was so cold, he was shaking like a leaf, my little man has no body fat. After swimming we go to the coffee shop for hot chocolate and cappuccino for mommy. Today was lesson number 2, I had a little chat with the teacher beforehand and today was much better. Of cour

We came back on Friday and moved into our new apartment. This is the third location we are trying in Bangalore and this one is spot on. It was recommended to me by another adoptive mom and it was a great tip! The apartment is almost half price of a five star hotel and we have a two bedroom apartment situated opposite UB city and two minutes from the Cubban park. It’s an ideal location, we can just stroll out. They have a small laundry room that you can use, free WIFI and cable tv. If anyone travelling to Bangalore wants more info, don’t hesitate to email me. I miss the tranquillity of Kerala but Bangalore does have some nice things to offer: Cubban park, Lalbagh botanical gardens and Ulsoor lake are all great places to have fun with kids. For shopping there are some good malls such as Mantri square and Garuda mall as well as MG road. Tomorrow I am going shopping for souvenirs, fabrics, saris and pashminas. So how are things going, well today was a bit of a battle of wills day

The end of our Kerala trip is near... I can’t believe we’ve been here for seven days! Time seems to enter a whole new dimension when you become a parent; a day feels like five minutes. Kerala is beautiful and I wish we could stay here longer; we will definitely come back in the future. It is so peaceful and breathtaking. The food is delicious, the people are friendly, and although the air is more humid there is less pollution than in Bangalore. We had a fun week of swimming, walking, eating, sleeping and bonding. We made huge progress in the swimming, he has completely lost his fear of water and now loves jumping into the pool or going to sleep under the water with daddy. Every day things go better, we still have our moments though but they seem less frequent and they seem to pass quicker as well. He can still be stubborn and can get upset if we tell him not to do something but he seems to be more accepting now. This morning I checked on the tracking site for the passport a

Today is our two week anniversary. Two intense, emotional weeks with lots of tears and I’m not talking just about him. I’ve cried because I was happy, because I was emotionally drained, because I miss my family and friends, because I’m not sure I will love him as much as his birth mother, because I am worried about him, because I over analyse things. So today I kinda said to myself ok no more crying it takes away the enjoyment. For five years I have tried to refrain from imagining my child. It is a hard thing to do, keeping your hopes tucked away deep inside you because whatever they are, they will not correspond with reality. In some ways my son is much more than I dared to hope for. He is beautiful, smart and sweet. He is also resilient, defiant, and at times really difficult to handle and this is where it’s difficult. I find it hard to find the right balance between love and discipline. I have read too many books and listened to too many people and I see something in every littl

I will not dwell too long on day 11, we went to the speech therapist in the morning. It wasn’t a great experience. I don’t know why they asked us to sit in during the session, I thought it was a recipe for disaster and it was. J was defiant, not listening and did everything he wasn’t supposed to do so it wasn’t that beneficial. It was interesting to meet the therapists and hear about the progress he has made and he is continuing to make. We spend a lot of time teaching him how to ask for things and how to pronounce things. We don’t like the; I want, and give me and basically one word orders. So we are very persistent and only give him things when he asks I would like to   or can I please have or Give me please... it takes a lot of patience but it’s working. The rest of the day we just relaxed at the hotel and packed for our trip to Kerala. So on Friday we headed to the airport. I was stressed because we don’t have a passport yet for him. We did have a letter from the orphanage s