Our adoption journey...

So our last and final hearing went ahead on the 14 th of December. The hearing took place (yeah) and we are now scheduled for judgement on the 4 th of January. So realistically we should have the written judgement a few weeks after and we can travel to India J Today we went to sort out the visas in Paris, they should come through in a week, so we’re all ready to go when we receive the word. The next few weeks will go by fast, Christmas with the family and New Year with friends J The orphanage is in full preparation with their own Christmas celebrations and they will be staging a live tableau and our boy will be dressed up as Wise Man J . I can’t wait to see the pictures of that! Yesterday I spent a lovely day with my mom and nephews. I was thinking of Julian all the time and they kept asking when he is coming so they can FINALLY play football with him J Every time I picture them all together it makes me smile... Have a Merry Christmas everyone and a very happy 2013!

So our little boy went to court last Friday. I’ve been told that they had to wait a long time and he wasn’t best pleased about it J thankfully he doesn’t have to appear again. So since Friday I’ve been in stress to know what will happen next. So there is definitely one more hearing which has been scheduled for...14 December! I am so pleased it’s already next week!   After that it will go for judgement so I am not sure how much time there will be between the next hearing and judgement but so far it has been going quite quick so I’m hoping for the same J So Christmas in India would be pushing it but I think it will not be long after that. We are going to Paris to sort out the visas still in December. In the mean time the orphanage is preparing for the Christmas celebrations which are an exciting time for them. Thank you everyone for your continued support, it means a lot to us to know everyone is so supportive, our son is going to meet so many wonderful people J

So the 30th is unlikely to be the last hearing after all. It seems there will be another hearing following this. Usually there are in fact three hearings so one down two to go :) In the mean time I am organising our visa's to India and continuing to set up Julian Raju's room. Here are some snapshots already :)  

Yesterday many candles were burning all over the world in support of our big day. The first court hearing ... in this hearing the scrutiny filed their report based on all the evidence collected. This morning I received confirmation that the hearing went ahead (yeah) and that the next hearing has been scheduled for the 30 th of November (big yeah J ). I was not entirely sure what would happen at the next hearing, perhaps more evidence would be required but it seems that no further evidence is required (bigger yeah J ). The next hearing Julian Raju will have to be present together with a representative from the orphanage and I have a feeling that it is very possible that the adoption will be pronounced on the 30 th of November. After this we would need to wait for the written judgement and then the orphanage can apply for his passport and we can travel to India. It is hard to put a time on this but things are definitely moving in the right direction and I am quietly thinking abo

No it was not the last document. There were a few additional requests but we have managed to gather it all together with the help of family and a very efficient translator. The support has been amazing and everyone is constantly reminding me that all will be well and soon Raju will be with us. I had not spoken yet about Raju's name, we had already some time ago decided to give him a second first name and therefore his official name will be Julian Raju. The orphanage has in fact started calling him by his new name eventhough we thought perhaps to transition gradually or continue calling him Raju as a nick name. His dad has a nick name so we didn't see any problem with it. But now we don't want to confuse him any further so we are now using his full first name even though it takes some getting used to :) Time has been flying by as we have been quite busy work wise. This weekend I have a quiet weekend planned and Monday I shall try and remain calm but I so hope the fir

Since we knew our file is going to court I have been suffering from positive adoption stress. I am so excited to know that we are on the final leg of our journey. Last week however we were asked to clear the issue of Raju’s citizenship. We had already researched this and decided that we would apply for Belgian citizenship for Raju. Initially we were asked to write a declaration to that effect, witness the signatures and send it to India. Piece of cake, Monday all was ready and posted. It was not to be this simple though... the court wanted an official document from the Belgian authorities that Raju will be issued with a Belgian passport. Positive stress immediately reversed into negative stress... where did I start! First port of call was our Central Authority who was of course unable to issue such a document but advised me to contact the embassy. The lady at the embassy was so excited about the adoption (kept congratulating me :))and explained to me the process of getting th

We have a date! 5 th of November will be the first court date for our file. This is what they call a scrutiny check. Once we pass this, there will be another hearing. Hopefully we will only need two in total. I am beyond excited; it is so good to hear that things are moving. I am sure that many adoptive parents would agree that the bureaucracy is by far the most stressful thing. Perseverance is the message, in the end you will get there J don’t let it discourage you if a document is missing or gets lost. Many prospective parents ask how long does it take, but there is no hard and fast rule, every file is different. At the beginning I too looked at the official sites to see the official time lines set out but soon realised that reality is very different. So everybody spare a positive thought, prayer on the 5 th of November so all will go well. Don’t worry I will remind you on the day ;)

Today we were informed that our file has been filed in the court last Tuesday! We don't have a date yet for our first hearing but I am already so pleased it has been filed. So hopefully it is all complete now! I wasn't feeling very well the last two days so yesterday I settled down on the couch with tea and honey and I watched an Indian movie called "a peck on the cheek", it tells the story of a girl who is told on her ninth birthday that she was adopted. It is a beautiful film and the music (by A R Rahman)  is wonderful. The film really touches on everybody's feelings that develop after the girl is told she was adopted. Highly recommended to anyone adopting, not necessarily only from India :) Last Friday we received new pictures of our boy... oh  my he is growing up so quickly. He looks so sweet and happy, it is such a relief to see. In the mean time I am following other peoples' stories on Ichild India. We are by no means an exception, it is taking lon

A year has passed since we officially accepted the referral. If you had asked me at that time how long I thought it would take to be reunited with our son, I certainly would not have said one year. But today I have become far more realistic and used to the bureaucracy involved with adoption. That doesn’t mean I am passive about it but I tend to get less upset when yet another document is missing. It isn’t really anybody’s fault; it’s just the way things are. It is certainly something to take into account when deciding on adoption, the time factor. For many parents the choice to adopt already comes after a long journey of trying to conceive. We started our procedure earlier then intended because we thought it would take a long time and adoption for us was a choice so we counted on 3 years which has now become 5 years. Almost every family encounters difficulties on the way and it is certainly not getting any easier. On the one hand there are positive reasons for this, most countr

When I wrote my last post I said hopefully the postal services wont let us down... well they have... One parcel went astray... of course a new one is already on its way but yet again a week lost. In future I will not think about what could possibly go wrong :( but I shall remain positive and every day past is a day less to wait regardless of how long the wait is. In the mean time I am thoroughly enjoying the US and making a mental note of the things that I think Raju will like so we can do them again in the future :) Well fingers crossed our last document reaches India in the next few days :) I will tune in again when I have more news...

5 days since my last post... by now 3 envelopes are on their way to India... 3 envelopes from 3 different countries... but yes I managed to get all the paperwork together. Hopefully the postal services will not let us down and they should be able to file in the next two weeks. We then need to wait to hear when will be the court dates, there will be several court dates but we do not have to be present. Luckily a representative from the orphanage will take care of this. I am all packed for our next travel with the usual packing dilemma of what to take, what not to take... I was wondering what my suitcase to India would look like...   I already have a ton of advice from fellow adoptive parents, travel websites etc... but I definitely will be travelling light although hubby says he wants to take food with him. This is quite interesting considering our favourite cuisine is Indian but he is very worried about getting sick over there. We normally are very adventurous when travelling and

We had some bad news yesterday, where I thought our file had already long been filed in the court it appears now this is not the case. There seem to be more documents missing, I was so disappointed that another month has passed without anything happening and as per usual some of the documents are already in our file. I am waiting for clarification on what exactly is needed. At the same time the warden of the orphanage has passed away. We did not get a chance to meet this woman but judging from the reactions on facebook etc.. this was a wonderful person and I am sure the children and staff are going through a difficult time. I can't help but wonder what effect this lady had on Raju's life and if he is in any way going through a hard time. I feel so helpless not to be able to do anything. I hope we can clarify the missing documents before our trip to the US, I hate to think we would loose another month on administrative nonsense. I know it is not nonsense and it is important but

Now is as good a time as ever to say thank you to some special people. To my mother for never asking the question why, but for accepting our choice and supporting and, in some instances, defending it ever since. To my sisters for their support especially in difficult times. To my nieces and nephews for their enthusiasm, their smart questions :) and their patience! To Cindy, who was there from the first step, literally standing next to us at the postbox when we posted that first letter. To all my friends (they know who they are:)) for patiently listening to me venting my frustrations and for always telling me it will be ok! To my stepchildren for being who they are. My biggest thank you goes to VCT in Bangalore and Raju's foster family for looking after my son during all this time. Knowing that Raju is in good hands, receiving care and affection makes this wait a little less hard. Eventhough this has been a long journey, I have met some amazing people on the way. Thank you!

Once you accept a referral you have to wait for the No Objection Certificate, this is granted by CARA in India. Things didn't go as smooth as we wanted. Once we signed the referral it transpired our home study was about to expire as they are only valid for two years. So again we had to update the file before it could be transmitted to CARA to apply for the NOC. Updating the home study involved interviews with the social worker, pshychologist, police and doctor. This time we made sure our home study reflected Raju's age, we didn't want the NOC to be refused because it didn't correspond with the home study. Finally in January 2012 the file was complete and transmitted to CARA. What followed was a stressful time. There was a series of demands for extra documents and questions from CARA to the orphanage. The orphanage was as frustrated as we were but they were very helpful. I contacted CARA several times and was told all the time that it would be issued next week, but w

Once we knew our file had been transmitted to a RIPA (orphanage) began an exciting wait... Because there are no agencies in Monaco and our coordinator does not master English that well, we were given permission to be in direct contact with the RIPA, this is unusual and we are very thankful that the RIPA was ok with this. On the 5th of July 2011 like all other days for the last 5 years the first thing I did when waking up was to check my email. And there it was.... an email from the orphanage. This of course was not unusual but when I opened it I realised it was the referral. The inital email only contained the medical history and social report. Half an hour later I received pictures .... sometimes the world really does stop. We were smitten but we wanted to make an informed decision. We collected as much medical history as possible and asked for advice from several pediatricians. On the 6th of September we were finally able to sign the official documents! Many people did not quit

The home study was very well carried out. Everyone on the team was extremely positive and supportive and it was a pleasant experience. Eventhough I had heard many stories about home studies ours was very fair and it was not as stressful as I had anticipated. Still the relief when we finally had the agreement was big and it was a very happy moment. Our journey could now really begin... Adoption involves a lot of paperwork (perhaps an understatement) but there are many protocols and steps to follow. Especially since we are adopting under the The Hague convention it is very important to follow the advice of the central authorities involved. We waited for several  months (8 to be exact) during which we had no news at all, not even a confirmation that the file was received. After 8 months we discovered that it had in fact not been received at all. The disappointment was so big (plenty of tearful calls to friends and family who all helped us through this). A new file had to be created...

Welcome to our adoption blog. I hope our story will encourage and give hope to others on the same journey. It is a long and often difficult path to travel, surround yourself by people who believe in you and support you along the way. We started our journey 5 years ago when we sent our first letter to our central authority to enquire about adoption. One year later we had undergone our home study and we were approved for adoption. We choose to adopt from India, the desire to adopt was a long standing one and India seemed like a good choice. Here is in short our time line of adoption: September 2007: start of our journey December 2008: approved for adoption by our central authority June 2009: discovered our file had been lost in India January 2010: submitted our new file to CARA March 2011: CARA asssigned our file to the RIPA September 2011: we accepted the referral of Raju January 2012: submitted a new updated homestudy to CARA June 2012: NOC granted by CARA I will refer